Workplace bystanders and bullies: an unpopular opinion

This piece describes bystanders who witness aggressive to bullying behaviours in a workplace context. This piece is not applicable to life threatening situations inside or outside a workplace.

A workplace sacrificial lamb (upstander)

A common workplace scenario:

A manager is lecturing a colleague during a meeting regarding a failed project. They are laying out accusations and strategies that should have been executed instead. Others involved in the project are not given any feedback. This is not the first time the manager has singled out the employee in front of others. And just like every other time, no one intervenes during the awkward situation.

After work, a bystander scrolls through their twitter feed and comes across some posts about speaking up against harm and being an upstander by standing up to bullies. There are other posts about privilege and oppression and those in positions of power should use their privilege to advocate for those who are marginalized and victimized in their workplace. The bystander starts wondering if they should have said something during the meeting, or even after, to their targeted colleague. And if so, what could they have said that didn’t embarrass the victim or the senior manager? How could they have intervened in a way that didn’t make them a new target? Feelings of shame, confusion and outrage surface, followed by powerlessness and resignation. They decide that their job is really important for their career aspirations and that they wouldn’t do anything that might jeopardise their position.

These messages about being an upstander make sense. They speak to a moral principle about harm prevention and protecting the vulnerable. These messages suggest that there is a right thing to do and that’s always to stand up to the perpetrator and protect the victim and in doing so, you alleviate the moral distress that arises from witnessing wrongdoing.

Yet in a workplace hierarchy consisting of people in positions of relative power, this isn’t so black and white.

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