Hacking Narcissism

Hacking Narcissism

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Hacking Narcissism
Hacking Narcissism
How to avoid being triangulated
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How to avoid being triangulated

Harm prevention for yourself and others in a conflict

Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar
Nathalie Martinek PhD
Nov 16, 2021
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Hacking Narcissism
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How to avoid being triangulated
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This is a follow up premium article to 12 signs a bully is recruiting you for a smear campaign. Upgrade your subscription for full access to this article that provides strategies to avoid becoming someone else’s weapon.


You’ve just been told about a conflict occurring between two people by either one of the disputing parties or secondhand by a supporter of the person in dispute.

You’re now in a situation that didn’t exist in your life a few minutes earlier. You have a number of thoughts running through your head and emotions in your body. You might be wondering now “What am I supposed to do about this?”

If you identified the red flags of becoming an Accuser’s Flying Monkey, also known as the Bully’s ally in this situation, it’s time to do a SITUATION APPRAISAL to determine your role and course of action. Most importantly, you would like to discover if you are going to have a constructive or destructive influence on the conflict and any of the parties involved.

Your options of roles to play are:

  • Flying Monkey

  • Caring support

  • Neutral party

The role you play will be determined by the accuracy of your situation appraisal and what justice looks like to you as a result of your level of involvement.

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