Unf*ck Your Thinking Series: Overcoming power struggles in your relationships

Unfuck Your Thinking Part 3

This newsletter is the third instalment in the Unfuck Your Thinking series. The focus of this piece is to help you expand the way you see yourself when someone’s behaviour toward you is initiating a stress/survival response…and unfuck your thinking to respond to that situation with integrity.

This series is available to paying subscribers only – you can upgrade to a paid subscription below. I’m excited to share new insights, research, and thinking with you.

If the articles in this series have personally benefited you or helped you discover different ways to respond to stressful situations/interactions, consider sharing their impact with the Substack community.

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In the previous newsletter, I introduced the 4 step Unfuck Your Thinking process to raise awareness about your triggers and overriding instincts to be the Saviour. This piece applied the two relational frameworks to move out of reactivity into obejctivity to resolve an inner conflict.

In the first instalment, I introduced components of the Unfuck Your Thinking framework - Karpman’s Drama Triangle and the Liberating Triad.

The six roles described in the frameworks form the foundation to improve access to critical thinking, inner and interpersonal conflict resolution and informed actions without violating your moral principles or values.

The second instalment introduced the four step Unfuck Your Thinking process - 1. react 2. soothe 3. reason 4. act. The purpose of this process is to:

• raise awareness of your triggers

• notice your overriding instincts to be the Saviour

• help you avoid the pitfalls of power struggles

• help you navigate triggering situations to resolve an inner conflict

This third instalment focuses on navigating interpersonal power struggles within a personal or professional relationship using the Unfuck Your Thinking framework and process as the person who feels or believes you are on the receiving end of shitty behaviour or you’re being oppressed.

I will go on to describe how to use all six roles to gain perspective of these situations and liberate from annoying power struggles.

Important note before you continue reading: This article is not referring to oppression in an abusive relationship. You or someone you know would be in an abusive relationship if you are under the control of another person, they threaten your wellbeing and you’re afraid of them and what they will do if you upset them.

This article will also not be delving into systemic or structural oppression and how to apply the Unfuck Your Thinking framework to these contexts. You will find descriptions of the oppressor and oppressed in relation to Karpman’s Drama Triangle in the audio recording here.

Mortal combat between workplace colleagues. Imagine you’re the one on the right. Original image by Retrorocket from Alamy.

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