How to reclaim control of your mind

Unf*ck Your Thinking Part 3

When your give-a-shitter breaks

This is an updated version of an earlier article in the Unf*ck Your Thinking series. Since its first publication, the emotional climate has only intensified. Outrage, crisis, and constant demands on our emotional energy continue, without any sign of slowing down.

Many people are burning out from caring too much, too often, about too many things. Exposure to suffering and injustice, along with a steady stream of performance, posturing, virtue signaling, outrage posting, and moral narcissism, has led to a quiet epidemic of empathy erosion. Our compassion is stretched thin, distorted by the need to prove we're good people, and turned into a tool that disguises cruelty as care.

Tired Moderate

published on the issue of compassion fatigue affecting our reasoning.

We Need to Talk About Compassion Fatigue

Our minds are overloaded. We are flooded with information that feels urgent, personal, and morally important, making it difficult to tell what truly matters. We lose sight of what is within our control and what belongs to someone else. Real problems blend with manufactured noise. We need to take back control of our minds by interrupting automatic emotional reactions and choosing how we respond.

It is not that people no longer care. It is that their empathy has been hijacked and spread thin across issues and individuals that feel endless and impossible to resolve. The result is emotional exhaustion, reactivity, and moral confusion. Some people shut down and detach. Others try to fix everything and lose themselves in the process.

The solution is not to harden your heart or stop caring. It is to unf*ck your thinking by recognising when your mind has been hijacked and learning to respond from a grounded, intentional place. This article gives you a practical framework to help you regain control of your thoughts, develop discernment, and take control of your role in relationships, especially when power struggles and emotional overload make it hard to see what matters.

This is the third instalment in the Unf*ck Your Thinking series. If you’ve ever found yourself stressed or overwhelmed by someone else’s behaviour, this piece is here to help you respond with integrity. If you missed the earlier parts, Part 1 introduced the Drama Triangle and Liberating Triad frameworks, and Part 2 outlined the four-step Unf*ck Your Thinking process:

1. React → 2. Soothe → 3. Reason → 4. Act

The purpose of this process is to:

• raise awareness of your triggers

• notice your overriding instincts to be the Saviour

• help you avoid the pitfalls of power struggles

• help you navigate triggering situations to resolve an inner conflict

This instalment dives into navigating interpersonal power struggles—whether in personal or professional settings—especially from the perspective of the person who feels oppressed or disempowered.

Important note before you continue reading:
This article does not address abusive relationships or systemic oppression. If you’re in an abusive situation, please seek appropriate support.

This article also doesn’t cover systemic or structural oppression. The Unf*ck Your Thinking framework is designed for interpersonal power struggles where mutual respect is still possible. If you’re looking for how this applies to systems of oppression or the oppressor-oppressed dynamic, you’ll find that in my audio on Karpman’s Drama Triangle.

Mortal combat between workplace colleagues. Imagine you’re the one on the right. Original image by Retrorocket from Alamy.

Understanding the six roles (and one observer) in a power struggle

The six roles described in the frameworks form the foundation for improving access to critical thinking, resolving both inner and interpersonal conflict, and taking informed action without compromising your values or moral principles.

I will describe how to use all six roles to gain perspective on difficult situations and free yourself from frustrating power struggles.