Wow, you are detailing a former co-worker I experienced at Johnson & Johnson. In my opinion, she played a vulnerable narcissist so unbelievably well, I got sucked in her drama. She would complain about nearly everyone, but played up sexism against her preventing her from getting promotions. Now she hid the fact that she was able to convince a colleague to target their manager. As such, I think management just avoided her as someone who was unstable, as she could target almost anyone. After pouring a lot of support into a blackhole for my colleague, I changed roles, and boy, she gave me escalating passive aggressive behavior to the point where she formed a work mob against me. Not so ironically, she used her vulnerable narcissism to convince those "sexist" males to target me, as I triggered her with a Snoopy holiday e-mail. HR coddled her and put me through the ringer.
It's encouraging to see women analyzing these kinds of dynamics. The complaint that dissenters and people on the right often make is that big organizations seem to be falling to these dynamics without any apparent resistance. The uncomfortable fact is that we (as a society and as workers) are going to need to be able to generalize about and identify feminine social dynamics first. That's trivially easy in the context of Substack (and rather less so within social science) but I couldn't raise any of these issues at the school in which I teach. For most women (and men) the idea that women often think, goal-set, and relate to one another differently than do men is a shocking and taboo claim.
Great reflections and so import that women raise this issue.
On a tangent to this I’ve been reflecting on the mix up of emotional intelligence and high emotional expressiveness. It is not the same.
Men tend to struggle with low emotional expressiveness and somewhere between the end points of that spectrum is a sweet spot of emotional intelligence.
I believe this could be a starting point for men and women to reflect on their relationship to their feelings and how they process and express them.
Wow, you are detailing a former co-worker I experienced at Johnson & Johnson. In my opinion, she played a vulnerable narcissist so unbelievably well, I got sucked in her drama. She would complain about nearly everyone, but played up sexism against her preventing her from getting promotions. Now she hid the fact that she was able to convince a colleague to target their manager. As such, I think management just avoided her as someone who was unstable, as she could target almost anyone. After pouring a lot of support into a blackhole for my colleague, I changed roles, and boy, she gave me escalating passive aggressive behavior to the point where she formed a work mob against me. Not so ironically, she used her vulnerable narcissism to convince those "sexist" males to target me, as I triggered her with a Snoopy holiday e-mail. HR coddled her and put me through the ringer.
It's encouraging to see women analyzing these kinds of dynamics. The complaint that dissenters and people on the right often make is that big organizations seem to be falling to these dynamics without any apparent resistance. The uncomfortable fact is that we (as a society and as workers) are going to need to be able to generalize about and identify feminine social dynamics first. That's trivially easy in the context of Substack (and rather less so within social science) but I couldn't raise any of these issues at the school in which I teach. For most women (and men) the idea that women often think, goal-set, and relate to one another differently than do men is a shocking and taboo claim.
https://jmpolemic.substack.com/p/feminism-as-entitlement-pt-5
Great reflections and so import that women raise this issue.
On a tangent to this I’ve been reflecting on the mix up of emotional intelligence and high emotional expressiveness. It is not the same.
Men tend to struggle with low emotional expressiveness and somewhere between the end points of that spectrum is a sweet spot of emotional intelligence.
I believe this could be a starting point for men and women to reflect on their relationship to their feelings and how they process and express them.