Man, it just makes me think how incredibly toxic social media is. In so many ways, it can’t NOT be black & white. It can go sideways in a hurry. We’re constantly forced to confront trolls of one type or another. I’ve been incredibly fortunate that I’ve *somehow* managed to avoid this for the most part. But when I see you or other good people get confronted by one, it’s really been affecting me.
Social media can turn reasonable people into hostile trolls. You've been fortunate to avoid being on the receiving end...you've had enough drama in your own life and maybe the universe is showing some mercy. I'm getting less rattled by the trolling as I develop a thicker skin and greater inner strength. Seeing how others handle these people gives me strength too.
Thanks for your kind thoughts about me Shawn. You’re also a good human who has been hurt by awful behaviours. I wish there were other ways to build resilience than to defend against and deflect bad behaviour
I would add to your list “difficulty paying compliments.” Maybe a subset of the “black & white” point. Narcissists often feel that if they pay someone else a compliment, it’s a zero sum game and they are by default demeaning themselves. “You have a nice voice,” means “I don’t have a nice voice.”
After going over a decade without a single compliment for good work/effective method development/successfully completed projects (or overt recognition of any type re: the worth of ANYTHING I had ever accomplished) by my partner, yet still being demanded to do more for the enterprise, rather than her demanding our partnership be dissolved? I kind of figured that one out...
Last straw when the narcissism penny really dropped for me was a very large and successful project during which she used company funds (I am a 50% owner) to commission a videographer and had a professionally made video documentary of the project created. When I watched it, she was in virtually EVERY scene, usually speaking, while I appeared 2X for less than 5 seconds total in a 35 minute video, only in the background of thise shots and never while facing the camera. My name was listed in the credits as one of the truck drivers?! (Yes, that was ONE thing I had done during the job, as I hold a CDL). Yet my business cards say 1st VP and I had spent at least 5X the hands on and preparation hours on this project she had, done 90% of the operational management, crew wrangling, logistics & etc..
Man, it just makes me think how incredibly toxic social media is. In so many ways, it can’t NOT be black & white. It can go sideways in a hurry. We’re constantly forced to confront trolls of one type or another. I’ve been incredibly fortunate that I’ve *somehow* managed to avoid this for the most part. But when I see you or other good people get confronted by one, it’s really been affecting me.
Social media can turn reasonable people into hostile trolls. You've been fortunate to avoid being on the receiving end...you've had enough drama in your own life and maybe the universe is showing some mercy. I'm getting less rattled by the trolling as I develop a thicker skin and greater inner strength. Seeing how others handle these people gives me strength too.
I think it sucks that you have to get used to people acting at their bottom feeder worst. I hate that for you. You’re a really good person Nathalie.
Thanks for your kind thoughts about me Shawn. You’re also a good human who has been hurt by awful behaviours. I wish there were other ways to build resilience than to defend against and deflect bad behaviour
I would add to your list “difficulty paying compliments.” Maybe a subset of the “black & white” point. Narcissists often feel that if they pay someone else a compliment, it’s a zero sum game and they are by default demeaning themselves. “You have a nice voice,” means “I don’t have a nice voice.”
After going over a decade without a single compliment for good work/effective method development/successfully completed projects (or overt recognition of any type re: the worth of ANYTHING I had ever accomplished) by my partner, yet still being demanded to do more for the enterprise, rather than her demanding our partnership be dissolved? I kind of figured that one out...
Last straw when the narcissism penny really dropped for me was a very large and successful project during which she used company funds (I am a 50% owner) to commission a videographer and had a professionally made video documentary of the project created. When I watched it, she was in virtually EVERY scene, usually speaking, while I appeared 2X for less than 5 seconds total in a 35 minute video, only in the background of thise shots and never while facing the camera. My name was listed in the credits as one of the truck drivers?! (Yes, that was ONE thing I had done during the job, as I hold a CDL). Yet my business cards say 1st VP and I had spent at least 5X the hands on and preparation hours on this project she had, done 90% of the operational management, crew wrangling, logistics & etc..
A good partner/boss gives more credit to her associates/employees than to herself. I hope you’ve moved on!