I appreciate those distinctions Andrew! The fake it till you make it also seems like a self-deception tool as well as coercive tactic to assimilate and appear just like everyone else who looks competent, rather than acknowledging the truth - I'm learning how to do something new.
I've always been attracted to the 'master/apprentice' dynamic. I love being in relationship with someone who knows more than me and I simply watch them work. In areas that are truly important to me, I've sought out mentors, coaches or colleagues and built authentic relationships with them in order for them to be able to tell me the unvarnished truth about my work.
Thanks Janedra for your comment! You sound clear about your learning needs and know how to seek out those who can facilitate your growth...and I'm extrapolating here, you can probably spot someone who talks a bigger game than they can do. Having trusted supports who can honestly and respectfully tell you their observations of your strengths and areas of development is priceless. Not only is it helpful for focusing learning activities but keeps our ego in check!
I wish so many others would go about their learning/growth this way!
Your question "How do you distinguish between being in a process of learning vs. being a fraud?" is an excellent one and one I've pondered a while. In a bad experience I once had with a suburban coach who demonstrated several narcissistic traits - moreso after I challenged her - all would have been put right from my point of view, if she'd had the willingness to be honest and accountable. I guess it takes a big dollop of humility, courage and emotional maturity to do that instead of blaming the client.
There's "fake it 'til you make it", and then there's "fake it until you realize you should probably stop faking it."
I'm confident I've done a lot of both of these over the years.
I appreciate those distinctions Andrew! The fake it till you make it also seems like a self-deception tool as well as coercive tactic to assimilate and appear just like everyone else who looks competent, rather than acknowledging the truth - I'm learning how to do something new.
I've done those two as well.
Our minds... crafty they are.
I've always been attracted to the 'master/apprentice' dynamic. I love being in relationship with someone who knows more than me and I simply watch them work. In areas that are truly important to me, I've sought out mentors, coaches or colleagues and built authentic relationships with them in order for them to be able to tell me the unvarnished truth about my work.
Thanks Janedra for your comment! You sound clear about your learning needs and know how to seek out those who can facilitate your growth...and I'm extrapolating here, you can probably spot someone who talks a bigger game than they can do. Having trusted supports who can honestly and respectfully tell you their observations of your strengths and areas of development is priceless. Not only is it helpful for focusing learning activities but keeps our ego in check!
I wish so many others would go about their learning/growth this way!
Your question "How do you distinguish between being in a process of learning vs. being a fraud?" is an excellent one and one I've pondered a while. In a bad experience I once had with a suburban coach who demonstrated several narcissistic traits - moreso after I challenged her - all would have been put right from my point of view, if she'd had the willingness to be honest and accountable. I guess it takes a big dollop of humility, courage and emotional maturity to do that instead of blaming the client.