I hadn't thought about it that way, but I think there's something in that. Sometimes we're not celebrating a gain so much as recognising that something we value is still there.
A great article and eye-opening. The idea that reacting to a potential or perceived threat or even another perspective is damaging to everyone involved is true and unspoken. And we are bombarded with so many emotional threats that every part of our world feels unstable. After over 50 years of adult life, I've gone through experience and the resulting awareness, loss of illusion, and perceived new understanding many times. There is so much illusion in the world now and people place such importance on their beliefs and feelings over their actions that it does feel more dangerous. We've been wondering if it is just another stage of life or if the world is actually more dangerous. But the older you get, the less risk you can afford, because you can't recover as easily. When you no longer are allowed to work, you have to protect your base. That means you have to withdraw sometimes and you can't blindly trust. Things shift due to life and sometimes they become more trustworthy and sometimes less. Awareness is often scary and depressing. Is it mourning or is it a learned lesson? I'm sure it's both combined with belief systems, overwhelm, and many other things that we work through continually. But mourning is an interesting part of it.
Much of life I already understand for I’m older ,have wondered why and found there is no one answer and never expect payment though I am not wealthy - life has been good to me because I observe and note mistakes as learning and I own a nice little business .
Life is a challenge but by accepting failure as a learning experience or living in the world of hard knocks( I have scares to prove that) we humans can Access happiness!
Today — Father’s Day is such a time for I have helped raise three loving people who care for me and are going to buy me breakfast!
Here are something’s which create a good person—-be kind but humble—-seek not money or wealth but knowledge that last longer than we do —-walk gently on this earth for it is our only home — give away your peaches from your own tree because generosity creates happiness — have an orchid which blooms once per year but produces beauty and fragrance so that it can be shared,
I am not an esoteric writer ,seeking glory ,I just want to spread a few words that will carry for a few moments until a new truth steps in .
Fascinating read. I am mourning much of what you mentioned especially the unsafe streets after dark, the violence, loss of privacy and all the noise or as you put it stuff that constantly beeps at us. I also resent the medical community's relentless drive toward invasive scoping and testing of people to identify bothersome or potentially deadly illnesses. There's almost no comfort in simply being without pain or discomfort without having to worry that we might be sick because we haven't allowed a doctor to keep sending our blood to a lab for analysis. The old rule for doctors to do no harm in their treatments is out the window. These days multimillion dollar settlements have been had over aggressive and damaging procedures seemingly done more for the revenues they generate than for the good and safety of patients. End of rant.
A recent (well, five years present) loss has shaped the lens through which I exist (wow: a revelation).
Living has become an exercise one two planes, one in which I perform my old self, reasonably successfully, friendly, engaged, with humour and welcome. It piles on what feels like burden because this persona invites relationship, and as that relationship grows in familiarity and trust, there are moments when the other plane emerges. Sorrow, a pain almost physical, lack of sleep—oh yes, so weary—and a revisiting of life that touches on so many earlier losses in some attempt to connect the dots. If feel myself isolating from those with whom I have/might reveal my mourning.
How we behave, navigating on our various respective planes, has its own ripple effect. Consciousness of that is important in keeping some boundaries intact to preserve important relationships. At the same time, that is yet one more burden, and for some of us, a feeling like return to the closet, a hiding of one's self. I think this is a factor of trying to avoid mourning.
Time does not heal. Sometimes it adds layers.
For me, sleep is the gift that makes a day worth living. Beats a robust red.
Mourning loss is an acknowledgement. I think mourning will characterize the years I have left. But the acknowledgement may help me inhabit those years.
Great much needed article on losses. For good mental health we need to seriously come to terms with losses in our lives. As someone who started my life journey with loss of my identity and biological parents, adopted and being made to feel there was no loss, only gratitude for being adopted. Loss has seriously affected my life, but I have reached a point where it makes more sense, and even beneficial once I have the wisdom to deal with it right. Your analysis of algorithm and attention, losses, etc, is brilliant. Observing what people are paying for versus what they're not.
Every loss you enumerated is one you can change and yet you failed to name the one loss that controls all others; the loss of inner peace.
The loss of loyalty to a political side.
Politicians change their values often.
Loss of an identity.
You never really knew who you are.
Loss of freedom to go out at night in any neighborhood.
Personal safety has always been a myth.
The loss of a sense of safety or community.
It is up to you to make yourself safe.
Loss of quiet because everything beeps at us.
Unplug from the noise
Loss of privacy.
You gave privacy away, take it back.
Loss of trust, even among friends.
Friends are loyal an trustworthy, those were not your friends.
While celebrating wins and gains is important it seems that your 'loss' column is self-inflicted by constantly mourning the bad choices you have made. You speak of Dharma and have not learned Dhi or Vidya.
You're responding to loss as a problem to solve. I'm writing about loss as something that needs to be mourned. You're arguing for agency while this essay is about mourning. Those aren't the same conversation.
As you grow you will learn that mourning is the solution to the process of grief. In mourning we are able to set aside the loss and continue on the road to helping others find Inner Peace and on the journey we will achieve Inner Peace.
I'm struggling with nothing because it feels like a failure of bullshit expectations. We also live in the most opulent ti es ever so discussion of loss, against those expectations, is even more perverse. Worse, the reaction to that "loss" manifesting as Clister B creates painful loss in others. The bjllshit expectations create cluster B which create loss.
Nature is trying to kill you
The world isn't nice
Nothing is fair
With that foundation, we live a fucking fantastic life with no need for cluster B making it worse. In fact, cluster B is part of that perverted expectation.
Brilliant analysis. Really has me thinking…
So much loss that we celebrate small wins. Maybe they are not even wins, it’s just not a loss. Which in this world seems like a win.
Loved this
I hadn't thought about it that way, but I think there's something in that. Sometimes we're not celebrating a gain so much as recognising that something we value is still there.
yes, and said way more eloquently than I ever could:)
A great article and eye-opening. The idea that reacting to a potential or perceived threat or even another perspective is damaging to everyone involved is true and unspoken. And we are bombarded with so many emotional threats that every part of our world feels unstable. After over 50 years of adult life, I've gone through experience and the resulting awareness, loss of illusion, and perceived new understanding many times. There is so much illusion in the world now and people place such importance on their beliefs and feelings over their actions that it does feel more dangerous. We've been wondering if it is just another stage of life or if the world is actually more dangerous. But the older you get, the less risk you can afford, because you can't recover as easily. When you no longer are allowed to work, you have to protect your base. That means you have to withdraw sometimes and you can't blindly trust. Things shift due to life and sometimes they become more trustworthy and sometimes less. Awareness is often scary and depressing. Is it mourning or is it a learned lesson? I'm sure it's both combined with belief systems, overwhelm, and many other things that we work through continually. But mourning is an interesting part of it.
Much of life I already understand for I’m older ,have wondered why and found there is no one answer and never expect payment though I am not wealthy - life has been good to me because I observe and note mistakes as learning and I own a nice little business .
Life is a challenge but by accepting failure as a learning experience or living in the world of hard knocks( I have scares to prove that) we humans can Access happiness!
Today — Father’s Day is such a time for I have helped raise three loving people who care for me and are going to buy me breakfast!
Here are something’s which create a good person—-be kind but humble—-seek not money or wealth but knowledge that last longer than we do —-walk gently on this earth for it is our only home — give away your peaches from your own tree because generosity creates happiness — have an orchid which blooms once per year but produces beauty and fragrance so that it can be shared,
I am not an esoteric writer ,seeking glory ,I just want to spread a few words that will carry for a few moments until a new truth steps in .
Outstanding. Incisive. Root cause pinned like a tail on the donkey. Doesnt change what is or will happen, because of the human condition, but brava.
Thank you!
Great piece !
Thank you for sharing it!
Fascinating read. I am mourning much of what you mentioned especially the unsafe streets after dark, the violence, loss of privacy and all the noise or as you put it stuff that constantly beeps at us. I also resent the medical community's relentless drive toward invasive scoping and testing of people to identify bothersome or potentially deadly illnesses. There's almost no comfort in simply being without pain or discomfort without having to worry that we might be sick because we haven't allowed a doctor to keep sending our blood to a lab for analysis. The old rule for doctors to do no harm in their treatments is out the window. These days multimillion dollar settlements have been had over aggressive and damaging procedures seemingly done more for the revenues they generate than for the good and safety of patients. End of rant.
A recent (well, five years present) loss has shaped the lens through which I exist (wow: a revelation).
Living has become an exercise one two planes, one in which I perform my old self, reasonably successfully, friendly, engaged, with humour and welcome. It piles on what feels like burden because this persona invites relationship, and as that relationship grows in familiarity and trust, there are moments when the other plane emerges. Sorrow, a pain almost physical, lack of sleep—oh yes, so weary—and a revisiting of life that touches on so many earlier losses in some attempt to connect the dots. If feel myself isolating from those with whom I have/might reveal my mourning.
How we behave, navigating on our various respective planes, has its own ripple effect. Consciousness of that is important in keeping some boundaries intact to preserve important relationships. At the same time, that is yet one more burden, and for some of us, a feeling like return to the closet, a hiding of one's self. I think this is a factor of trying to avoid mourning.
Time does not heal. Sometimes it adds layers.
For me, sleep is the gift that makes a day worth living. Beats a robust red.
Mourning loss is an acknowledgement. I think mourning will characterize the years I have left. But the acknowledgement may help me inhabit those years.
Yes, -- we are all being played.
Great much needed article on losses. For good mental health we need to seriously come to terms with losses in our lives. As someone who started my life journey with loss of my identity and biological parents, adopted and being made to feel there was no loss, only gratitude for being adopted. Loss has seriously affected my life, but I have reached a point where it makes more sense, and even beneficial once I have the wisdom to deal with it right. Your analysis of algorithm and attention, losses, etc, is brilliant. Observing what people are paying for versus what they're not.
Every loss you enumerated is one you can change and yet you failed to name the one loss that controls all others; the loss of inner peace.
The loss of loyalty to a political side.
Politicians change their values often.
Loss of an identity.
You never really knew who you are.
Loss of freedom to go out at night in any neighborhood.
Personal safety has always been a myth.
The loss of a sense of safety or community.
It is up to you to make yourself safe.
Loss of quiet because everything beeps at us.
Unplug from the noise
Loss of privacy.
You gave privacy away, take it back.
Loss of trust, even among friends.
Friends are loyal an trustworthy, those were not your friends.
While celebrating wins and gains is important it seems that your 'loss' column is self-inflicted by constantly mourning the bad choices you have made. You speak of Dharma and have not learned Dhi or Vidya.
You're responding to loss as a problem to solve. I'm writing about loss as something that needs to be mourned. You're arguing for agency while this essay is about mourning. Those aren't the same conversation.
As you grow you will learn that mourning is the solution to the process of grief. In mourning we are able to set aside the loss and continue on the road to helping others find Inner Peace and on the journey we will achieve Inner Peace.
I'm struggling with nothing because it feels like a failure of bullshit expectations. We also live in the most opulent ti es ever so discussion of loss, against those expectations, is even more perverse. Worse, the reaction to that "loss" manifesting as Clister B creates painful loss in others. The bjllshit expectations create cluster B which create loss.
Nature is trying to kill you
The world isn't nice
Nothing is fair
With that foundation, we live a fucking fantastic life with no need for cluster B making it worse. In fact, cluster B is part of that perverted expectation.
I for one do not need to be paid to write or think ,much of life I un already because I’m older