You certainly aren't afraid to bring up some difficult topics. And you do a good job with them. I always labeled this competitiveness. But envy is a good label.
Beautifully written. I have been thinking about this a lot holding my new baby girl. As a therapist, I work with many woman who have experienced this envy and hurt by their mothers and it’s deeply painful to witness. It is hopefully to know that with understanding and depth work many come out strong on the other side and do so differently for their own daughters!
...and, this mother wound follows us in our relationships, marriage, bosses, and all that you write so much about in the workplace. Learning to rise in the absence of attunement and connection can be a life long journey.
Thank you Nathalie for a succinct yet clear explanation of something I have long suspected. This post explains a lot: my fear of attack when successful, my preference for quiet success, my suspicion of accommodating men who won't stand up to others' bad behaviour. It replicates parental patterns. I'm recommending your work to all my friends now. Thank you.
Thanks Nathalie. Any insights on sons of narcissistic mothers? I am the oldest of three sons. The wake of destruction was deep and wide with our mother, causing all kinds of problems with the three of us. Appreciate your work.
I can't give a definitive answer without knowing the dynamics between your mother and each of your brothers, as well as your father's role. There would have been a favourite and a surrogate spouse expected to 'provide' among the 3 of you. Are you and your brothers on the same page about the role your mother played in your life?
You certainly aren't afraid to bring up some difficult topics. And you do a good job with them. I always labeled this competitiveness. But envy is a good label.
Thanks Brent! I like the challenge of taking on tough topics from a nuanced perspective while avoiding tapping into common villain-victim narratives
Beautifully written. I have been thinking about this a lot holding my new baby girl. As a therapist, I work with many woman who have experienced this envy and hurt by their mothers and it’s deeply painful to witness. It is hopefully to know that with understanding and depth work many come out strong on the other side and do so differently for their own daughters!
Congrats on the birth of your daughter Puah! You’re doing great work to help women develop and build healthier relationships.
...and, this mother wound follows us in our relationships, marriage, bosses, and all that you write so much about in the workplace. Learning to rise in the absence of attunement and connection can be a life long journey.
Our relational blueprint follows us for life but thankfully can be redesigned.
Thank you Nathalie for a succinct yet clear explanation of something I have long suspected. This post explains a lot: my fear of attack when successful, my preference for quiet success, my suspicion of accommodating men who won't stand up to others' bad behaviour. It replicates parental patterns. I'm recommending your work to all my friends now. Thank you.
Thanks Hayley! I’m glad it resonated and lends insight into your relational patterns.
Thanks Nathalie. Any insights on sons of narcissistic mothers? I am the oldest of three sons. The wake of destruction was deep and wide with our mother, causing all kinds of problems with the three of us. Appreciate your work.
I can't give a definitive answer without knowing the dynamics between your mother and each of your brothers, as well as your father's role. There would have been a favourite and a surrogate spouse expected to 'provide' among the 3 of you. Are you and your brothers on the same page about the role your mother played in your life?
That would require a session I believe. We are all on the same page, but with different levels of understanding.
Feel free to DM me so we can explore this further
Thanks for reading it Nicki!