There definitely is a Playbook, whether it’s at work or in your home. Amazing that it is replicated with a pattern that so many seem to follow. Is there an Amazon bestseller? Narcissistic Playbook for Dummies?
You, my dear, don’t need excuses. Your work is incredibly beneficial. You’re exposing patterns that have helped many and will continue to help those caught in a narcissistic web. Thank you for exposing these people who thrive on destroying others.
There's been a lot of consolidation in an engineering field I used to work in - I've learned (the hard way) to consider things like company slogans. One place had (paraphrased): "we want to be the most respected company in <industry>", compare that to a competitor's "we never forget who we are working for". Both sound trite, but there's something creepy about the former. Getting respect of course is great, but how about something that acknowledges the customer?
Anyways, I've been through the "scapegoating" process you described at Company A, after delivering a successful analysis. I was a contractor at the time (although had been a direct hire) and suspect I had perturbed some of the direct hires.
I continue to relive this scenario in each one of my professional roles. The only thing that improves with age is the speed with which I recognize the stages and make my exit.
You describe, in a nutshell, my experience with scapegoating. It's so vital to explain how narcissistic systems manifest in the workplace – so much of the writing on this is about relationships and family systems. But this kind of pattern is extraordinarily common in the workplace, and most people don't recognize it even when they're actively participating in it. It would be so great if we could all become a lot more emotionally intelligent. If we could see clearly and see early a lot would change. Thank you for your work.
There definitely is a Playbook, whether it’s at work or in your home. Amazing that it is replicated with a pattern that so many seem to follow. Is there an Amazon bestseller? Narcissistic Playbook for Dummies?
I hope the resource on narcissism for dummies is Hacking Narcissism 😉
Definitely! I was being cheeky.
I haven’t had my morning coffee…that’s my excuse for that flying over my head.
You, my dear, don’t need excuses. Your work is incredibly beneficial. You’re exposing patterns that have helped many and will continue to help those caught in a narcissistic web. Thank you for exposing these people who thrive on destroying others.
Fascinating stuff.
I’ve always hated these subtle, covert power games. The victim can never fight back because there’s nothing obvious to fight back against.
Thankfully, I work for myself but, if I were an employer, I’d discipline staff if I even detected this was going on.
Integrity is everything, and plausible deniability be damned.
There's been a lot of consolidation in an engineering field I used to work in - I've learned (the hard way) to consider things like company slogans. One place had (paraphrased): "we want to be the most respected company in <industry>", compare that to a competitor's "we never forget who we are working for". Both sound trite, but there's something creepy about the former. Getting respect of course is great, but how about something that acknowledges the customer?
Anyways, I've been through the "scapegoating" process you described at Company A, after delivering a successful analysis. I was a contractor at the time (although had been a direct hire) and suspect I had perturbed some of the direct hires.
Great analysis!
In Some cases the discard can be abrupt. A complete sever. But this all rings true. That grooming stage: oof. All projection based isn’t it? 🥲
Love this series
I continue to relive this scenario in each one of my professional roles. The only thing that improves with age is the speed with which I recognize the stages and make my exit.
Great post!
You describe, in a nutshell, my experience with scapegoating. It's so vital to explain how narcissistic systems manifest in the workplace – so much of the writing on this is about relationships and family systems. But this kind of pattern is extraordinarily common in the workplace, and most people don't recognize it even when they're actively participating in it. It would be so great if we could all become a lot more emotionally intelligent. If we could see clearly and see early a lot would change. Thank you for your work.
Above great! I would love to discuss more narcissistic (professional) medical systems ... 🤓
The entire US at present, from the White House, top-down ... 🤓
Fantastic article! Love the meme on the playbook. Recommend that the steps are enumerated and to change the last word on step 2 to "alienated."