Shame has a bad reputation in the community of emotions.
One of the narcissistic behaviours I describe is shaming and blaming others instead of owning up to an accusation or graciously receiving feedback. Shame intolerance is the source of the behaviour and the behaviour itself. But that’s not all shame is about.
I’m putting the finishing touches on a piece about shame to improve its reputation but am finding the editing process a little tough and need inspiration.
I want to know what YOU know and understand about shame.
"Based on my research and the research of other shame researchers, I believe that there is a profound difference between shame and guilt. I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful—it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort.
I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging—something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.
I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure. I think the fear of disconnection can make us dangerous."
Is this the shame you know or do you have another version that resonates?
Why does it have such a bad reputation?
When might shame be useful or instructive? What does your culture, religion or tradition say about shame?
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Shame. What is it good for? Share your thoughts!
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Shame has a bad reputation in the community of emotions.
One of the narcissistic behaviours I describe is shaming and blaming others instead of owning up to an accusation or graciously receiving feedback. Shame intolerance is the source of the behaviour and the behaviour itself. But that’s not all shame is about.
I’m putting the finishing touches on a piece about shame to improve its reputation but am finding the editing process a little tough and need inspiration.
I want to know what YOU know and understand about shame.
Here's an excerpt from Brene Brown's website sharing her thoughts about shame in 2013:
Is this the shame you know or do you have another version that resonates?
Why does it have such a bad reputation?
When might shame be useful or instructive? What does your culture, religion or tradition say about shame?
Comment below and let’s chat!
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