I appreciate your addressing this, Natalie. I find that in various spiritual spaces, folks (like me) who are lonely and don't fit into the mainstream of culture or religion congregate together. Receiving a flattering explanation of our situation (whether explicit or implicit), we are especially ripe to be fleeced into expensive retreats or manifestation courses.
At their most troubling, these teachers and spaces remind me a great deal of the institutional church I was brought up in, where the Truth was known to a select few, and a sense of being Elect was so intoxicating to some.
Community can be good, but when people herd up, it can also be unhelpful and even dangerous. I've been a lifelong "non-joiner," and while that has increased my feeling of isolation, it has also saved me from giving myself over to a teacher or group. Indeed, at times, a certain fervor is reached that repels me; it's like being sober in a room full of those who have been drinking for some time.
This happened recently. I couldn't understand what everyone was excited about - other than being excited together, in perceived opposition to societal control and norms. The teacher, whom I like a lot, was basically simply saying everyone has complete power to create his/her own life - with almost no detail or explication. Soon, the whole "room" was resonating with folks echoing, declaring complete sovereignty over all aspects of their lives. It felt like nonsense to me, and I quietly left, having an IRL meeting to get ready for.
Later, I wondered how the day went for the folks from that meeting, when the inevitable detours and setbacks of weather, relationships, health, etc. hit. But oftentimes, a built-in catch-all reason is defaulted to - something like failing to stay on a high-enough vibration, falling into old patterns, etc.
We, as people, surely need something to believe in - all the more when we are struggling. And we need to feel we belong, and that we matter. There's nothing wrong with these needs, but it's important, I feel, to keep them in mind, along with the knowledge that when we are hungry, we'll eat a lot of things, whether or not they are good for us.
Jack - this is a great illustration of cult behaviour in a group of people who believe they are in a special space with special people getting something exclusive. I particularly love that you said this "There's nothing wrong with these needs, but it's important, I feel, to keep them in mind, along with the knowledge that when we are hungry, we'll eat a lot of things, whether or not they are good for us."
Spiritual junk food that elevates our ego and not our soul is bad news for humanity.
I observed a large (fairly narcissistic) medical group for years with lots of self-reinforcing back-slapping to amp up their group superiority (which from the outside was not exactly true).
This cuts through more than trends. You named the whole system. The flattery loop. The ambient superiority. The way “resonance” can trick the hungry into mistaking aesthetic for depth.
I’ve seen it too. Voices that don’t offer tools, just the performance of insight. Followers high on being "not like the others," feeding their ache into a mirror that never reflects back the work.
And the hardest part? The ones who fall for it are often the ones who swore they never would. Because they’ve been burned before, so they trust their “discernment.” But really, they’re just starving smarter.
You didn’t just call it out. You honored the hunger without shaming it. That matters.
re: "The result is a sense of instant resonance, which tricks people into believing they’ve seen clearly when all they’ve done is felt deeply." I don't think that "feeling _deeply_ " is required. At least, I see a lot of this behaviour among people who aren't feeling deeply, but instead shallowly and sincerely. My conclusion is that a great many people who claim to be seeking 'authenticity' are really seeking sincerity. There are at least 3 big problems here. 1. Faking sincerity in a way that fools others is not particularly hard. Some charismatic people have a natural talent in this line, but even if you do not you can get most of the effect by practicing.
2. Feeling and Thinking are nor polar opposites. If you want to feel more deeply about something, you will have to put in more effort in thinking about the something. But people who identify with their feelings and try to not think too much about things end up beliving that the most sincere feelings are thought-free. The pinnacle is the infant screaming to be fed.
3. Some people's natural feelings about a matter are so shallow that if they ever manage to catch a feeling from somebody else, it feels deep to them. (This is what I think you are eluding to here). But it only seems deep to them because they can glimpse a bit of the deeper feeling that somebody else has done. This is not the same thing as having had the deep feeling yourself in your own mind. And it is utterly irrelevant as to whether the deeply felt thing is true. Sporting events often can make a crowd absolutely believe that the home team is going to score a goal right now. Everybody feels it. Strongly. But they only score one some of the time ....
You've raised so many good points that I hadn't considered for this piece. For one, the spectrum of feeling capacity is a really interesting perspective. Not everyone can feel deeply but as you said, for some, even shallow resonance can feel deep. Which is why they can fall for the trendy authenticity vibe, mistaking that for genuine honesty and sincerity. Your other point about using your mind the examine a feeling rather than respond to it is inline with what I describe as practicing discernment. We need both faculties but people who focus on feeling without questioning their thoughts are more likely to get conned.
Thank you for your thoughtful breakdown of the issue behind the issue Laura!
Right on. ‘Spiritual starvation’ is an apt term for the quality you describe here. I’m in recovery, so spirituality is important for me in a concrete way. We (all of us) treat it as a kind of woo-woo hobby, or a quirk or a habit. Find me ONE woman who doesn’t describe herself as ‘spiritual (but not religious),’ because that often just means engaging in self-soothing and magical thinking (no sacrifice or practice or constraints required!). Spirituality isn’t that though. It might just be a connection to the deeper layer of our self and reality. If that’s what it is then most modern people are starved of it. Including those spiritual women.
Thanks for reading it James! I see the same among many women (I was one of them once) in their use of spiritual without grounding in ritual, tradition, or traceable philosophy. Often it's a mashup of feel good sentiments and magical thinking, as you said. I want people to know how easily influenced they are by these forces that love a spiritually starved person.
Yea! This discussion is great - back 10+ years ago I was doing some online dating and the "law of attraction" thing kept coming up, and I studied it like I study many things and realized its one of many forms of spiritual bypassing (even magical thinking), and even at the Unity congregation where we spend some time (mostly in small discussion groups with multispiritual, Buddhist, or psychological orientations - consider myself JuBu-ish with lots of IFS/Enneagram type therapy history) there seem to be people with various types of "magical thinking" schticks.
There are many many many "tribes" (religions, clubs, political, volunteer, fan groups, workplace cultures, private schools, online groups, -isms, charisma-led flocks, etc) that suck in conforming people who crave identity, status, betterness, control, specialness, less emptiness, etc ... like opiates of the masses ... current "political" state has commandeered this ... 🤓
Another post igniting deep self-reflection while adding nuance to the path of freedom. Thank you, Nathalie, for your discernment and for sitting with these topics in ways that grow consciousness. Lots to re-read and digest here. For instance, I wonder if the deep longing to feel special is really the need to feel worthy. I wonder at the origins of the need, and also whether this need sets us up to be ripe for scapegoating?
Great questions Susan! I chalk up the need to feel special to our relationship with the emotion shame. If shame arises with the fear of never living up to a standard in order to feel worthy, then feeling special or important bypasses the shame response and accesses the 'I must be worthy then' narrative. The connection you've made between feeling worthy and scapegoating is on point. The first stage of scapegoating is grooming so yes, the need to feel special can be satisfied by the lovebombing/grooming methods of the authority in the relationship, creating a dependence on their affection and their view of you as worthy/valuable. The moment you step out of line, the scapegoating playbook unfolds! Thank you for reading this piece and for your thoughtful comment.
So beautifully rendered, Nathalie. I love how you used the term spiritual hunger to describe the underlying “hole” 😉I think of it also as spiritual bankruptcy but hunger really reframes it. That disconnection from the self underlays it all - and you attach it to the behaviors and symptoms that point to it. I receive so much spiritual substance from your words. I continually have to practice awareness of what I’m seeing as a source and correct course to realign with my true Source, by whatever name or frame we give it.
Thank you so much for your thoughts Kelly. We seek spiritual enrichment without always knowing it and it's too easy to land in the wrong spaces...like cults, to satisfy the hunger. You said something important: practicing bringing awareness to what you're seeing a source/authority and realigning with Source. Love it!
"For he will render to every man according to his works: to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life; but for those who are factious and do not obey the truth, but obey wickedness, there will be wrath and fury. There will be tribulation and distress for every human being who does evil, the Jew first and also the Greek, but glory and honor and peace for every one who does good, the Jew first and also the Greek. For God shows no partiality" -- Romans 2:6-11
We do well to be clear in our own minds what we want and what we hope to achieve in this world.
We need to be clear about our wants and desires, because those will invariably guide our choices, which will of necessity dictate our actions, from which proceed our consequences.
If we do not choose wisely, if we do not act deliberately, our consequences will be not merely unexpected, but very likely unpleasant.
If we choose wisely and act deliberately, our consequences are less likely to be unexpected, and therefore may conveivably be less unpleasant (or even pleasant).
Right or wrong, wise or foolish, good or evil, how we choose and how we act will always be a driving force in how we are rewarded. That is how consequence works.
"We need to be clear about our wants and desires, because those will invariably guide our choices, which will of necessity dictate our actions, from which proceed our consequences.
If we do not choose wisely, if we do not act deliberately, our consequences will be not merely unexpected, but very likely unpleasant."
I'm looking at society and dysfunctional social groups with those statements in mind. Very well said.
Another cracker. I had to smile when I hyper jumped out to “ entirely parasocial” and self reflected on my periodic feedback. I need to self reflect and self evaluate on that. 🙏 I don’t think I had absorbed that article before. I do like the way you connect all your articles. It reminds me of the way programmes and projects build Wikis and supporting static documentation behind dynamic application. Auditability between the WHY, the WHAT and the HOW and the operationalised product is so important to demonstrate integrity, trust, truth and transparency. The operationalised product in IT is the run time code and in humans it’s our behaviour who I am and what I want.#Identity It’s not about preaching or being a saviour it’s about inviting. Pull not push. Crikey this is exciting, emerging and evolving. Thank you so much and I will rereading this a lot more I’m sure. 🙏
Thank you for your reflections Trevor. This piece is as much for me as it is for everyone who reads it. This is the most recent article so it's not surprising you didn't see it earlier. Becoming adept at drawing to us what we need vs jumping on what we think we need is part of the work for all of us in this lifetime. I'm not there yet! Your humanity and honesty is always inspiring!
Dang. You really took us on a journey with this one.
It’s so tempting to blame others for spiritual decay, to cast ourselves as the awakened, and them as the corrupted. But the truth is, we’re all both prey and predator at different times.
Writing my piece on Foucault awhile back shook something in me. I realized how far I’d drifted from my own center. It was so easy to despise the narcissism on the left that I didn’t notice how blinded I had become in the process.
Then, when I began writing from a place of humility, trying to build bridges where once there was animosity, I started getting canceled by the anti-woke.
So now I find myself somewhere else entirely. I’m hated by the woke and the anti-woke for not being pure enough in their ideology. What will this clarity cost? Perhaps attunement to something deeper but I don’t always know. Even if I can’t be sure of that, at least I know I’m not giving into the desire to want to feel jaded. So that has to count for something.
Thank you Weird Logic for your perspectives on this topic, especially on the ego tricks that block humility. I can guarantee that as you continue to write from humility, you will lose subscribers, piss polarised people off, and question what you're doing all the time. But you will also encounter aligned people and become more at ease with wandering in the dark, finding gems along the way.
I appreciate your addressing this, Natalie. I find that in various spiritual spaces, folks (like me) who are lonely and don't fit into the mainstream of culture or religion congregate together. Receiving a flattering explanation of our situation (whether explicit or implicit), we are especially ripe to be fleeced into expensive retreats or manifestation courses.
At their most troubling, these teachers and spaces remind me a great deal of the institutional church I was brought up in, where the Truth was known to a select few, and a sense of being Elect was so intoxicating to some.
Community can be good, but when people herd up, it can also be unhelpful and even dangerous. I've been a lifelong "non-joiner," and while that has increased my feeling of isolation, it has also saved me from giving myself over to a teacher or group. Indeed, at times, a certain fervor is reached that repels me; it's like being sober in a room full of those who have been drinking for some time.
This happened recently. I couldn't understand what everyone was excited about - other than being excited together, in perceived opposition to societal control and norms. The teacher, whom I like a lot, was basically simply saying everyone has complete power to create his/her own life - with almost no detail or explication. Soon, the whole "room" was resonating with folks echoing, declaring complete sovereignty over all aspects of their lives. It felt like nonsense to me, and I quietly left, having an IRL meeting to get ready for.
Later, I wondered how the day went for the folks from that meeting, when the inevitable detours and setbacks of weather, relationships, health, etc. hit. But oftentimes, a built-in catch-all reason is defaulted to - something like failing to stay on a high-enough vibration, falling into old patterns, etc.
We, as people, surely need something to believe in - all the more when we are struggling. And we need to feel we belong, and that we matter. There's nothing wrong with these needs, but it's important, I feel, to keep them in mind, along with the knowledge that when we are hungry, we'll eat a lot of things, whether or not they are good for us.
Jack - this is a great illustration of cult behaviour in a group of people who believe they are in a special space with special people getting something exclusive. I particularly love that you said this "There's nothing wrong with these needs, but it's important, I feel, to keep them in mind, along with the knowledge that when we are hungry, we'll eat a lot of things, whether or not they are good for us."
Spiritual junk food that elevates our ego and not our soul is bad news for humanity.
Thank you for your insights!
> Spiritual junk food that elevates our ego and not our soul is bad news for humanity.
Thank you, Natalie, for your kind words, and also for this line!
You inspired it Jack!
I observed a large (fairly narcissistic) medical group for years with lots of self-reinforcing back-slapping to amp up their group superiority (which from the outside was not exactly true).
This cuts through more than trends. You named the whole system. The flattery loop. The ambient superiority. The way “resonance” can trick the hungry into mistaking aesthetic for depth.
I’ve seen it too. Voices that don’t offer tools, just the performance of insight. Followers high on being "not like the others," feeding their ache into a mirror that never reflects back the work.
And the hardest part? The ones who fall for it are often the ones who swore they never would. Because they’ve been burned before, so they trust their “discernment.” But really, they’re just starving smarter.
You didn’t just call it out. You honored the hunger without shaming it. That matters.
It's great that this message resonates and reinforces the importance of developing discernment. Thank you for reading!
Absolutely astounding. As usual. Thank you.
Thank you so much for reading it Erin. I'm happy the exploration of metaphysical things resonates.
It blew me away. Especially the byline
I'm glad it spoke to you - thank you for reading it!
I love you. That is all. And not because you’re special. 😉Because I am. (Joke) 😂😂😂
Are you lovebombing yourself Kelly? I wonder if that's even a thing!
Everyday!
Thank you for writing.
re: "The result is a sense of instant resonance, which tricks people into believing they’ve seen clearly when all they’ve done is felt deeply." I don't think that "feeling _deeply_ " is required. At least, I see a lot of this behaviour among people who aren't feeling deeply, but instead shallowly and sincerely. My conclusion is that a great many people who claim to be seeking 'authenticity' are really seeking sincerity. There are at least 3 big problems here. 1. Faking sincerity in a way that fools others is not particularly hard. Some charismatic people have a natural talent in this line, but even if you do not you can get most of the effect by practicing.
2. Feeling and Thinking are nor polar opposites. If you want to feel more deeply about something, you will have to put in more effort in thinking about the something. But people who identify with their feelings and try to not think too much about things end up beliving that the most sincere feelings are thought-free. The pinnacle is the infant screaming to be fed.
3. Some people's natural feelings about a matter are so shallow that if they ever manage to catch a feeling from somebody else, it feels deep to them. (This is what I think you are eluding to here). But it only seems deep to them because they can glimpse a bit of the deeper feeling that somebody else has done. This is not the same thing as having had the deep feeling yourself in your own mind. And it is utterly irrelevant as to whether the deeply felt thing is true. Sporting events often can make a crowd absolutely believe that the home team is going to score a goal right now. Everybody feels it. Strongly. But they only score one some of the time ....
You've raised so many good points that I hadn't considered for this piece. For one, the spectrum of feeling capacity is a really interesting perspective. Not everyone can feel deeply but as you said, for some, even shallow resonance can feel deep. Which is why they can fall for the trendy authenticity vibe, mistaking that for genuine honesty and sincerity. Your other point about using your mind the examine a feeling rather than respond to it is inline with what I describe as practicing discernment. We need both faculties but people who focus on feeling without questioning their thoughts are more likely to get conned.
Thank you for your thoughtful breakdown of the issue behind the issue Laura!
Right on. ‘Spiritual starvation’ is an apt term for the quality you describe here. I’m in recovery, so spirituality is important for me in a concrete way. We (all of us) treat it as a kind of woo-woo hobby, or a quirk or a habit. Find me ONE woman who doesn’t describe herself as ‘spiritual (but not religious),’ because that often just means engaging in self-soothing and magical thinking (no sacrifice or practice or constraints required!). Spirituality isn’t that though. It might just be a connection to the deeper layer of our self and reality. If that’s what it is then most modern people are starved of it. Including those spiritual women.
Thanks for reading it James! I see the same among many women (I was one of them once) in their use of spiritual without grounding in ritual, tradition, or traceable philosophy. Often it's a mashup of feel good sentiments and magical thinking, as you said. I want people to know how easily influenced they are by these forces that love a spiritually starved person.
Yea! This discussion is great - back 10+ years ago I was doing some online dating and the "law of attraction" thing kept coming up, and I studied it like I study many things and realized its one of many forms of spiritual bypassing (even magical thinking), and even at the Unity congregation where we spend some time (mostly in small discussion groups with multispiritual, Buddhist, or psychological orientations - consider myself JuBu-ish with lots of IFS/Enneagram type therapy history) there seem to be people with various types of "magical thinking" schticks.
Great article ! 🤓
There are many many many "tribes" (religions, clubs, political, volunteer, fan groups, workplace cultures, private schools, online groups, -isms, charisma-led flocks, etc) that suck in conforming people who crave identity, status, betterness, control, specialness, less emptiness, etc ... like opiates of the masses ... current "political" state has commandeered this ... 🤓
absolutely!
Another post igniting deep self-reflection while adding nuance to the path of freedom. Thank you, Nathalie, for your discernment and for sitting with these topics in ways that grow consciousness. Lots to re-read and digest here. For instance, I wonder if the deep longing to feel special is really the need to feel worthy. I wonder at the origins of the need, and also whether this need sets us up to be ripe for scapegoating?
Great questions Susan! I chalk up the need to feel special to our relationship with the emotion shame. If shame arises with the fear of never living up to a standard in order to feel worthy, then feeling special or important bypasses the shame response and accesses the 'I must be worthy then' narrative. The connection you've made between feeling worthy and scapegoating is on point. The first stage of scapegoating is grooming so yes, the need to feel special can be satisfied by the lovebombing/grooming methods of the authority in the relationship, creating a dependence on their affection and their view of you as worthy/valuable. The moment you step out of line, the scapegoating playbook unfolds! Thank you for reading this piece and for your thoughtful comment.
So beautifully rendered, Nathalie. I love how you used the term spiritual hunger to describe the underlying “hole” 😉I think of it also as spiritual bankruptcy but hunger really reframes it. That disconnection from the self underlays it all - and you attach it to the behaviors and symptoms that point to it. I receive so much spiritual substance from your words. I continually have to practice awareness of what I’m seeing as a source and correct course to realign with my true Source, by whatever name or frame we give it.
Thank you so much for your thoughts Kelly. We seek spiritual enrichment without always knowing it and it's too easy to land in the wrong spaces...like cults, to satisfy the hunger. You said something important: practicing bringing awareness to what you're seeing a source/authority and realigning with Source. Love it!
💕💕💕
Egregore ~= collective tulpa?
I had to look up the word...yes.
Hell yes to this!
Thank you!
"For he will render to every man according to his works: to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and immortality, he will give eternal life; but for those who are factious and do not obey the truth, but obey wickedness, there will be wrath and fury. There will be tribulation and distress for every human being who does evil, the Jew first and also the Greek, but glory and honor and peace for every one who does good, the Jew first and also the Greek. For God shows no partiality" -- Romans 2:6-11
We do well to be clear in our own minds what we want and what we hope to achieve in this world.
https://blog.petersproverbs.us/p/what-do-you-want
We need to be clear about our wants and desires, because those will invariably guide our choices, which will of necessity dictate our actions, from which proceed our consequences.
If we do not choose wisely, if we do not act deliberately, our consequences will be not merely unexpected, but very likely unpleasant.
If we choose wisely and act deliberately, our consequences are less likely to be unexpected, and therefore may conveivably be less unpleasant (or even pleasant).
Right or wrong, wise or foolish, good or evil, how we choose and how we act will always be a driving force in how we are rewarded. That is how consequence works.
"We need to be clear about our wants and desires, because those will invariably guide our choices, which will of necessity dictate our actions, from which proceed our consequences.
If we do not choose wisely, if we do not act deliberately, our consequences will be not merely unexpected, but very likely unpleasant."
I'm looking at society and dysfunctional social groups with those statements in mind. Very well said.
Thanks.
It's worth noting that this idea lies at the core of both Christianity and Buddhism. It's not really my thought, merely my restating an ancient truth.
There is a reason ideas endure long enough to be considered ancient truths: they work.
I figure that's reason enough to remember them and to remind people of them.
Amazing post. You touched every point I was looking for when reading this. I’m impressed!
thank you!
Another cracker. I had to smile when I hyper jumped out to “ entirely parasocial” and self reflected on my periodic feedback. I need to self reflect and self evaluate on that. 🙏 I don’t think I had absorbed that article before. I do like the way you connect all your articles. It reminds me of the way programmes and projects build Wikis and supporting static documentation behind dynamic application. Auditability between the WHY, the WHAT and the HOW and the operationalised product is so important to demonstrate integrity, trust, truth and transparency. The operationalised product in IT is the run time code and in humans it’s our behaviour who I am and what I want.#Identity It’s not about preaching or being a saviour it’s about inviting. Pull not push. Crikey this is exciting, emerging and evolving. Thank you so much and I will rereading this a lot more I’m sure. 🙏
Thank you for your reflections Trevor. This piece is as much for me as it is for everyone who reads it. This is the most recent article so it's not surprising you didn't see it earlier. Becoming adept at drawing to us what we need vs jumping on what we think we need is part of the work for all of us in this lifetime. I'm not there yet! Your humanity and honesty is always inspiring!
🙏
Dang. You really took us on a journey with this one.
It’s so tempting to blame others for spiritual decay, to cast ourselves as the awakened, and them as the corrupted. But the truth is, we’re all both prey and predator at different times.
Writing my piece on Foucault awhile back shook something in me. I realized how far I’d drifted from my own center. It was so easy to despise the narcissism on the left that I didn’t notice how blinded I had become in the process.
Then, when I began writing from a place of humility, trying to build bridges where once there was animosity, I started getting canceled by the anti-woke.
So now I find myself somewhere else entirely. I’m hated by the woke and the anti-woke for not being pure enough in their ideology. What will this clarity cost? Perhaps attunement to something deeper but I don’t always know. Even if I can’t be sure of that, at least I know I’m not giving into the desire to want to feel jaded. So that has to count for something.
This was a fire 🔥 post, Nathalie.
Thank you Weird Logic for your perspectives on this topic, especially on the ego tricks that block humility. I can guarantee that as you continue to write from humility, you will lose subscribers, piss polarised people off, and question what you're doing all the time. But you will also encounter aligned people and become more at ease with wandering in the dark, finding gems along the way.
I'm so glad this piece spoke to you!