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Jack's avatar

I appreciate your addressing this, Natalie. I find that in various spiritual spaces, folks (like me) who are lonely and don't fit into the mainstream of culture or religion congregate together. Receiving a flattering explanation of our situation (whether explicit or implicit), we are especially ripe to be fleeced into expensive retreats or manifestation courses.

At their most troubling, these teachers and spaces remind me a great deal of the institutional church I was brought up in, where the Truth was known to a select few, and a sense of being Elect was so intoxicating to some.

Community can be good, but when people herd up, it can also be unhelpful and even dangerous. I've been a lifelong "non-joiner," and while that has increased my feeling of isolation, it has also saved me from giving myself over to a teacher or group. Indeed, at times, a certain fervor is reached that repels me; it's like being sober in a room full of those who have been drinking for some time.

This happened recently. I couldn't understand what everyone was excited about - other than being excited together, in perceived opposition to societal control and norms. The teacher, whom I like a lot, was basically simply saying everyone has complete power to create his/her own life - with almost no detail or explication. Soon, the whole "room" was resonating with folks echoing, declaring complete sovereignty over all aspects of their lives. It felt like nonsense to me, and I quietly left, having an IRL meeting to get ready for.

Later, I wondered how the day went for the folks from that meeting, when the inevitable detours and setbacks of weather, relationships, health, etc. hit. But oftentimes, a built-in catch-all reason is defaulted to - something like failing to stay on a high-enough vibration, falling into old patterns, etc.

We, as people, surely need something to believe in - all the more when we are struggling. And we need to feel we belong, and that we matter. There's nothing wrong with these needs, but it's important, I feel, to keep them in mind, along with the knowledge that when we are hungry, we'll eat a lot of things, whether or not they are good for us.

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

Jack - this is a great illustration of cult behaviour in a group of people who believe they are in a special space with special people getting something exclusive. I particularly love that you said this "There's nothing wrong with these needs, but it's important, I feel, to keep them in mind, along with the knowledge that when we are hungry, we'll eat a lot of things, whether or not they are good for us."

Spiritual junk food that elevates our ego and not our soul is bad news for humanity.

Thank you for your insights!

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Jack's avatar

> Spiritual junk food that elevates our ego and not our soul is bad news for humanity.

Thank you, Natalie, for your kind words, and also for this line!

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Erin O'Connor's avatar

Absolutely astounding. As usual. Thank you.

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

Thank you so much for reading it Erin. I'm happy the exploration of metaphysical things resonates.

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fi fyza kahani's avatar

It blew me away. Especially the byline

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

I'm glad it spoke to you - thank you for reading it!

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

This cuts through more than trends. You named the whole system. The flattery loop. The ambient superiority. The way “resonance” can trick the hungry into mistaking aesthetic for depth.

I’ve seen it too. Voices that don’t offer tools, just the performance of insight. Followers high on being "not like the others," feeding their ache into a mirror that never reflects back the work.

And the hardest part? The ones who fall for it are often the ones who swore they never would. Because they’ve been burned before, so they trust their “discernment.” But really, they’re just starving smarter.

You didn’t just call it out. You honored the hunger without shaming it. That matters.

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

It's great that this message resonates and reinforces the importance of developing discernment. Thank you for reading!

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Kelly Thompson TNWWY's avatar

I love you. That is all. And not because you’re special. 😉Because I am. (Joke) 😂😂😂

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

Are you lovebombing yourself Kelly? I wonder if that's even a thing!

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Kelly Thompson TNWWY's avatar

Everyday!

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Rachael  Morgan's avatar

Thank you, Nathalie, I love your writing for helping me understand some very difficult personalities around me that are causing tremendous harm

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

I'm grateful that this piece helps describe people around you, and I hope you're able to discern the right moves for you. Thank you for reading it Rachael!

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Jonathan's avatar

I am not going to read all of that because you started off without quantum physics and went straight into idolatry.

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

I don’t do science cosplay. If you need a quantum physics explainer for your emotional patterns, I’m probably not the writer for you.

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Jonathan's avatar

Want to join the quantum machine cult, I thought you were trying to start a cult?

🤨

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

I'm not a fan of cults but I will help @Katherine Brodsky build hers

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Jonathan's avatar

You’re both Jews so you already belong to my quantum machine cult.

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

Does this mean we're one step closer to world domination?

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Jonathan's avatar

Ask again later

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Yuliana1881's avatar

So awesome to see you write about egregores, a topic I've been contemplating heavily in recent years. I truly feel this [egregores] is at the core of what the current unfolding mayhem is about, a clashing and revealing of the egregores..

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

Woohoo to tapping into something that has captured your interest. I will be writing more about the presence of these entities/beings/energies in future articles.

Will you be writing on egregores soon? If so, please tag me when you've published it!

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Benjamin's avatar

There is a deeper meta narrative here. If I say I was struck by this piece it will sound like I’m falling prey to emotional manipulation. I think I understood your case but maybe I only felt that way? I certainly like to feel special. If I say I enjoy your writing in this piece am I falling to the trap of a false master?? What is happening? Ahhhh

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

We're both screwed as this is how I feel about so many other writers I follow!

I'm sorry this put you into a crisis Benjamin. I hope you decide you like it without all the baggage!

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AllAboutEve43's avatar

👏👏👏

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

Thank you AllAboutEve43!

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James M.'s avatar

Right on. ‘Spiritual starvation’ is an apt term for the quality you describe here. I’m in recovery, so spirituality is important for me in a concrete way. We (all of us) treat it as a kind of woo-woo hobby, or a quirk or a habit. Find me ONE woman who doesn’t describe herself as ‘spiritual (but not religious),’ because that often just means engaging in self-soothing and magical thinking (no sacrifice or practice or constraints required!). Spirituality isn’t that though. It might just be a connection to the deeper layer of our self and reality. If that’s what it is then most modern people are starved of it. Including those spiritual women.

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

Thanks for reading it James! I see the same among many women (I was one of them once) in their use of spiritual without grounding in ritual, tradition, or traceable philosophy. Often it's a mashup of feel good sentiments and magical thinking, as you said. I want people to know how easily influenced they are by these forces that love a spiritually starved person.

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Susan Penn's avatar

Another post igniting deep self-reflection while adding nuance to the path of freedom. Thank you, Nathalie, for your discernment and for sitting with these topics in ways that grow consciousness. Lots to re-read and digest here. For instance, I wonder if the deep longing to feel special is really the need to feel worthy. I wonder at the origins of the need, and also whether this need sets us up to be ripe for scapegoating?

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

Great questions Susan! I chalk up the need to feel special to our relationship with the emotion shame. If shame arises with the fear of never living up to a standard in order to feel worthy, then feeling special or important bypasses the shame response and accesses the 'I must be worthy then' narrative. The connection you've made between feeling worthy and scapegoating is on point. The first stage of scapegoating is grooming so yes, the need to feel special can be satisfied by the lovebombing/grooming methods of the authority in the relationship, creating a dependence on their affection and their view of you as worthy/valuable. The moment you step out of line, the scapegoating playbook unfolds! Thank you for reading this piece and for your thoughtful comment.

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