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Jan 23Liked by Nathalie Martinek PhD

I grew up around a lot of this type of behavior and did it myself because I didn't know any different. Discovering astrology in my early twenties helped me get off a path that was not going anywhere good. For example, I was controlling and overbearing toward my younger sister in a way that went beyond normal older sibling protectiveness. Of course, I looked up her astrological chart once I knew how to do so, back in roughly 2009. I saw that the ongoing cycle of Pluto was about to interact with her chart in a difficult way over the coming years — and I realized I could not go out in the sky and grab Pluto and pull it away from her. That very literal realization helped me learn to back off from her. I suppose you could call that process surrender. It was easier for me to release my own illusion of control once I was able to replace it with the superior force of the cycles of the planets, though. I think it would be really hard for someone to drop the idea that they were in control if they didn't have another compelling idea to replace it with.

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Nathalie Martinek PhD

The climax in this article for me is the surrender and in that we find strength or a gate opens to other ways.

To paint a scenario; should one now be faced with a work environment that is aware of this progression to persistently keep to a narrative knowing that results are either surrender or they are ready to put up a fight till one of us tires out. Dr. Nathalie thank you for this article, but might this not tend to a catch 22? Either Surender or be ready to fight. My experience seems to align with the surrender to greater powers path; I simply took solace in "truth is non-verbal" and focused on other concerns of mine. My curiousity is might there have been something else that could have happened? I definitely did not like fact that within that community of practise if anyone had a contrary view that person got bullied and my 'crime' was that I asked why we should take a certain lime of action. The reaction was violent emotional outbursts.

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Hi Anjola - thank you so much for your message and question!

When I wrote about Surrender, what I'm NOT suggesting is surrendering to another person, because as you rightly mentioned, you are still stuck in the situation involving someone else's domination within a context that ignores the abuse.

Surrender involves accepting that some people cannot change their ways because they are loyal servants to their worldview and you're not the person who can help them open to other perspectives...thus accepting that this is the reality of your situation. To exit from the fight and prevent becoming a target, you would affirm that their perspective is true to them (while silently acknowledging that it's untrue for you). Rather than spending energy trying to assert your point of view, you would use your energy to try to understand theirs and find something that can support a connection between you two, despite disagreeing with them. You would also accept that they cannot do this for or with you because of their high self-interest & low other interest (unless there was something they needed from that person). You would limit your exposure to them and move conversations to focus on tasks rather than opinions, personal views and feelings. Finally, you will find a way to be ok with you knowing your truth and even if you're the only one. Center in your truth and when anyone can do that, they won't need anyone else to affirm or validate it. That's freeing in itself. I hope that's helpful Anjola.

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