So what I've been experiencing is where I point out issues for months and suddenly I am the one be lectured for the issues I pointed out in the first place!!! What in the hell is that?!?!
It happens in every single profession. I've learned to discern who is working towards real feedback, even if delivered awkwardly, and those who are trying to climb the ladder. Once you figure out who falls into which category it becomes far easier to work on getting better, rather than taking crappy feedback to heart.
Excellent breakdown of feedback! I just had a mid year review and need to think further on some of the points, especially about not enough/too much.
When I was supervising an engineering team at a previous job I would ask for feedback from my team. One team member said "I don't trust you." I asked if I had done something to break trust, said something that was hurtful or made an offhand joke that wasn't well received. "No, I just don't trust you" and no further explanation. I always found that to be a bizarre exchange.
I’m glad this post came at the right time for you Ben! There’s so much that hides in language- I hope some the examples can help you decode the feedback.
The ‘I don’t trust you’ feedback is odd. I’m curious about the power game here - they might inspire you to work harder to gain their trust, which puts them in a dominant position or it could be as simple as you remind them of someone who hurt them in the past, which is why they simple don’t trust you (but don’t know why).
My best guess is that since this employee was going through a divorce and she was having a hard time it may have been a mistrust that spilled over on to me. I think her personal politics may have played into it as well since she was very vocal about her views and ideals.
As far as the latest feedback it seems that I fall into the "too much" category. "You're providing too much feedback and direction in engineering project meetings. Work on keeping tabs on the project without offering too much direction."
Always good to be alert to these dynamics in the workplace and in many other places as well.
Recently worked in an environment in which persons were expected to ask others if the other would be receptive to feedback before offering the feedback. Saying "no" would, of course, brand one as, at best, a fuddy-duddy (most polite word I could reach for). Saying "yes" permits the feedback-giver latitude for all manner of hi-jinx.
While all of these many dynamics are in play, there is a need to be mindful of the uber-disciplinarian, Human Relations. As the police of the corporate world, they are at liberty to issue all manner of citations, or even order arrests, all deriving from a source, such as a "handbook," quite likely compiled by Human Resources.
What would Kafka do?
As the old folks said, "it's called work for a reason."
So what I've been experiencing is where I point out issues for months and suddenly I am the one be lectured for the issues I pointed out in the first place!!! What in the hell is that?!?!
Thank you for this. You described my life as a medical student and resident. Always poor feedback.
Medical professionals inspired that tweet!
It happens in every single profession. I've learned to discern who is working towards real feedback, even if delivered awkwardly, and those who are trying to climb the ladder. Once you figure out who falls into which category it becomes far easier to work on getting better, rather than taking crappy feedback to heart.
Excellent breakdown of feedback! I just had a mid year review and need to think further on some of the points, especially about not enough/too much.
When I was supervising an engineering team at a previous job I would ask for feedback from my team. One team member said "I don't trust you." I asked if I had done something to break trust, said something that was hurtful or made an offhand joke that wasn't well received. "No, I just don't trust you" and no further explanation. I always found that to be a bizarre exchange.
I’m glad this post came at the right time for you Ben! There’s so much that hides in language- I hope some the examples can help you decode the feedback.
The ‘I don’t trust you’ feedback is odd. I’m curious about the power game here - they might inspire you to work harder to gain their trust, which puts them in a dominant position or it could be as simple as you remind them of someone who hurt them in the past, which is why they simple don’t trust you (but don’t know why).
My best guess is that since this employee was going through a divorce and she was having a hard time it may have been a mistrust that spilled over on to me. I think her personal politics may have played into it as well since she was very vocal about her views and ideals.
As far as the latest feedback it seems that I fall into the "too much" category. "You're providing too much feedback and direction in engineering project meetings. Work on keeping tabs on the project without offering too much direction."
Always good to be alert to these dynamics in the workplace and in many other places as well.
Recently worked in an environment in which persons were expected to ask others if the other would be receptive to feedback before offering the feedback. Saying "no" would, of course, brand one as, at best, a fuddy-duddy (most polite word I could reach for). Saying "yes" permits the feedback-giver latitude for all manner of hi-jinx.
While all of these many dynamics are in play, there is a need to be mindful of the uber-disciplinarian, Human Relations. As the police of the corporate world, they are at liberty to issue all manner of citations, or even order arrests, all deriving from a source, such as a "handbook," quite likely compiled by Human Resources.
What would Kafka do?
As the old folks said, "it's called work for a reason."