Very interesting. It's good to see names given to behaviours like this. If you had to whittle it down to one trait, would you say the main trait of knowledge vampires is them pretending that the knowledge you gave them is their own, and then shutting you out afterwards?
I cannot tell you what an impact this has had. You hit the nail precisely on the head. Having been recently groomed in these very ways, you gave it a name and a context. Very grateful for your brilliant analysis.
Thank you so much Maria-Elena! Your comment is so affirming and I'm grateful that it has helped you make sense of your own Knowledge Vamp experience and hopefully measures to protect from this type of predatory behaviour in the future.
Wow. Good gawd. I’m aware of being hoovered for knowledge and have seen these people take my concepts and run with them as tho they are their own. This is very helpful. I need to print it out. I am a very generous person with my knowledge and IP abc am having to rethink some things for myself. Thank you Nathalie! Maybe I do need a paywall…
Consider a paywall especially when sharing a process. I recommended checking the link for my original article on Knowledge Vampires as it provides a checklist of what’s required for a healthy collaboration.
Thank you, it is exactly as you say it is, my wife does this to people she meets, a few questions and she is able see what they can offer her, makes more time available to them, and when she has learnt what she wants, drops them in the dust. They are lost as to what have they done to lose a friendship, sad for them. She then moves on, a trail of upset people in her past, and at any stage she will contact them, out of the blue, befriend them again, get what she wants, then drop them again, repeatedly. She will also use tactics to gain info, things she needs, etc. No end to her deviousness.
Wow - this is appalling (probably unconscious) behaviour. And more interesting that her reputation is still intact and others in her network haven't banded together to expose her. I guess she circulates among diverse social groups to continue to pick brains without any intermingling?
It is unconscious, and she struggles to see herself as the reason people cancel her out of their lives. She has many burnt bridges, but she says, it is their loss not having her in their lives. I feel good for them, the less contact she has with people the better for them.
So yes. Your point on affection is really interesting and spot on yet, I realize the heady narcissistic people I know crave emotional intimacy affection and they often reject it severely. Then it gets subterfuged into an intense workaholic obsession that has OCD HARM disorder chaos because they cannot allow themselves to feel natural bonding as equals — which then jeopardizes their need to control for power. So complicated.
Love this! I have been trying to find the words to describe this frustrating issue for eons. You have put it perfectly. Outstanding 👏. The closest I came was telling people I am tired of them benefitting from my intellectual capital but you’ve flushed it out so well. Thank you.
Thank you! I work with many narcissists in my line of work. I am a semi retired therapist intern who works only with a select few clients now. It’s fascinating to read and write about what I have lived my whole life being raised by some and friends and bosses. I just uncovered a covert narcissist totally unaware. I’ll help them. Hence my research led me here and thankfully I am better armed.
Being in complete awareness brings much desired clarity and understanding and peace.
Perhaps you can touch on with your expertise how good people like me and many seem to be magnets for them to devour our spirits.
But she who has the knowledge and experience will not lose herself again.
Yes big difference. Plagiarism is copying existing published works and passing it off as one’s own original work, with full awareness of what that person is doing.
Knowledge vampirism is the progressive extraction of another’s unpublished body of knowledge on a specific subject while believing they held this knowledge all along, they were always the original author of this body of work and deny the original author access to their own work by publishing it first without attribution. The knowledge vamp is unaware of what they are doing as it involves a transmission of knowledge from a teacher to a student where the student believes they were always the teacher while also entitled to this knowledge.
I wish I could see it as simply as that. There are many shafted grad students who have had their unique body of knowledge vamped and then they were subsequently erased from the research history at the hands of their supervisor. I think we can choose to make our own practice knowledge available to select people but it’s not a right for anyone to have access to that knowledge. Knowledge without wisdom can make knowledge dangerous or useless in its application.
Very interesting. It's good to see names given to behaviours like this. If you had to whittle it down to one trait, would you say the main trait of knowledge vampires is them pretending that the knowledge you gave them is their own, and then shutting you out afterwards?
You summed it up in a nutshell Chimperu.
I cannot tell you what an impact this has had. You hit the nail precisely on the head. Having been recently groomed in these very ways, you gave it a name and a context. Very grateful for your brilliant analysis.
Thank you so much Maria-Elena! Your comment is so affirming and I'm grateful that it has helped you make sense of your own Knowledge Vamp experience and hopefully measures to protect from this type of predatory behaviour in the future.
Wow. Good gawd. I’m aware of being hoovered for knowledge and have seen these people take my concepts and run with them as tho they are their own. This is very helpful. I need to print it out. I am a very generous person with my knowledge and IP abc am having to rethink some things for myself. Thank you Nathalie! Maybe I do need a paywall…
Consider a paywall especially when sharing a process. I recommended checking the link for my original article on Knowledge Vampires as it provides a checklist of what’s required for a healthy collaboration.
Yes I did click that - wish I had printed copy! I need to reflect on this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_wants_to_be_free
Thank you, it is exactly as you say it is, my wife does this to people she meets, a few questions and she is able see what they can offer her, makes more time available to them, and when she has learnt what she wants, drops them in the dust. They are lost as to what have they done to lose a friendship, sad for them. She then moves on, a trail of upset people in her past, and at any stage she will contact them, out of the blue, befriend them again, get what she wants, then drop them again, repeatedly. She will also use tactics to gain info, things she needs, etc. No end to her deviousness.
Wow - this is appalling (probably unconscious) behaviour. And more interesting that her reputation is still intact and others in her network haven't banded together to expose her. I guess she circulates among diverse social groups to continue to pick brains without any intermingling?
It is unconscious, and she struggles to see herself as the reason people cancel her out of their lives. She has many burnt bridges, but she says, it is their loss not having her in their lives. I feel good for them, the less contact she has with people the better for them.
“…or positioning themselves above you?”
Where does this enormously destructive emotional virus come from and how do we dismantle its ability to engulf nations?
An insatiable need for control, attention, power and affection.
So yes. Your point on affection is really interesting and spot on yet, I realize the heady narcissistic people I know crave emotional intimacy affection and they often reject it severely. Then it gets subterfuged into an intense workaholic obsession that has OCD HARM disorder chaos because they cannot allow themselves to feel natural bonding as equals — which then jeopardizes their need to control for power. So complicated.
Connection requires surrender of control in exchange for reciprocity and intimacy. It’s too much of a sacrifice for those who want it all.
Oh, wow, I hadn't ever heard the term "Knowledge Vampire." So apt. I've had a few of them out for my blood over the years.
Not surprised to read this given your success. They love a good success story to suck on. Great you could spot and thwart them!
Love this! I have been trying to find the words to describe this frustrating issue for eons. You have put it perfectly. Outstanding 👏. The closest I came was telling people I am tired of them benefitting from my intellectual capital but you’ve flushed it out so well. Thank you.
Thank you! I work with many narcissists in my line of work. I am a semi retired therapist intern who works only with a select few clients now. It’s fascinating to read and write about what I have lived my whole life being raised by some and friends and bosses. I just uncovered a covert narcissist totally unaware. I’ll help them. Hence my research led me here and thankfully I am better armed.
Being in complete awareness brings much desired clarity and understanding and peace.
Perhaps you can touch on with your expertise how good people like me and many seem to be magnets for them to devour our spirits.
But she who has the knowledge and experience will not lose herself again.
Peace
The "share if this resonates so far' button leads to "404 page not found" for me.
Fixed it. Thank you for wanting to share it!
I promise to forget everything I’ve just read here.
Yes big difference. Plagiarism is copying existing published works and passing it off as one’s own original work, with full awareness of what that person is doing.
Knowledge vampirism is the progressive extraction of another’s unpublished body of knowledge on a specific subject while believing they held this knowledge all along, they were always the original author of this body of work and deny the original author access to their own work by publishing it first without attribution. The knowledge vamp is unaware of what they are doing as it involves a transmission of knowledge from a teacher to a student where the student believes they were always the teacher while also entitled to this knowledge.
I wish I could see it as simply as that. There are many shafted grad students who have had their unique body of knowledge vamped and then they were subsequently erased from the research history at the hands of their supervisor. I think we can choose to make our own practice knowledge available to select people but it’s not a right for anyone to have access to that knowledge. Knowledge without wisdom can make knowledge dangerous or useless in its application.