In my latest conversation on the Six Hats Podcast with Dr. Shami, we explored the very real (and rarely acknowledged) crisis many mothers are quietly living through such as burnout masked as ambition, fulfilment pursued as performance, and spirituality repackaged as another hustle. The conversation was sparked by my article describing the false sisterhood associated with mothers and their spiritual ambitions.
Here are some reflections from our discussion:
The chase never ends until you stop running
Many women, especially mothers, are locked in a pattern of constantly striving for success, purpose, spiritual evolution, or some version of having it all. How often do we pause to ask: Who told me this was worth chasing? What’s fuelling this urgency?
I share my observations and discovery that the chase is often a distraction from a deeper discomfort that can’t be confronted.
Spirituality isn’t a brand
There has been a troubling trend of treating spiritual practices like a competitive sport comparing healing rates, enlightenment status, most retreats attended. Spirituality has an actual function rather than another identity to perform.
The downgrading of motherhood
In a world that celebrates output, many of us (myself included) unconsciously deprioritised and downgraded the value of motherhood. The cultural script and pressure to achieve have influenced mothers into proving their worth through external titles rather than through the honour and privilege of raising decent humans.
The cost of constant consumption
Being tuned into spiritual consumerism and self-optimisation culture has allowed external authorities unfettered access to our psyches and therefore, our choices. Time to switch off and regain access to one’s own psyche and thoughts.
Attachments and entitlements
I spoke about the many attachments that keep us controlled and stuck:
the need to be seen as important
the belief that success = fulfilment
the idea that “because I want it, I deserve it”
false humility dressed up as spiritual purity
an aversion to discomfort or delay
These are symptoms of a culture that confuses visibility with value, and discomfort with failure.
Growth isn’t a hashtag
True growth doesn’t happen in the chaos. It happens in stillness. In pausing before jumping into the next thing. Growth emerges from questions like: Why do I want this? What do I think it will give me?
Growth is cultivating attributes like patience, humility, discernment - and they can’t be bought, branded, or fast-tracked.
You can listen to this and other episodes on the Six Hats Podcast on all things women and holistic health.
Read the original article: Mothers Are Not Okay
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I believe that a common threat to our individual and collective thriving is an addiction to power and control. This addiction fuels and is fuelled by greed - the desire to accumulate and control resources in social, information (and attention), economic, ecological, geographical and political systems.
While activists focus on fighting macro issues, I believe that activism also needs to focus on the micro issues - the narcissistic traits that pollute relationships between you and I, and between each other, without contributing to existing injustice. It’s not as exciting as fighting the Big Baddies yet hacking, resisting and overriding our tendencies to control others that also manifest as our macro issues is my full-time job.
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